Baltimore offseason Plans Part 1: What to do on a prudent 37 million dollar budget?

June 20, 2012 by

In case you missed it, after signing his massive, incentive laden 5 year 61 million dollar contract Haloti Ngata has managed to procure a modest 37.1 million dollars in salary and bonuses over the last 12 months. Yes, that is 16 weeks (plus the playoffs) of meaningful football and nearly 40 million reasons why outside of serious risk of multiple brain injuries and deteriorating mobility by the age of 37, the National Football league is one Lucrative gig, shocking I realize. Actually Ngata received more in pure salary than any other team sport athlete, due to signing and performance bonuses in the 2011 season. This all begs the question, assuming Haloti is as diversified with his investment portfolio as his skill set suggests on the field; what does a humble, soft spoken Mormon from Utah, who chose to play his college football in small town Eugene Oregon do with that sort of liquidity?

Let me first answer that question initially with, I have no idea. BUT here are 3 concise, level headed suggestions.

#1: Buy a South African Wildlife Safari- No I’m not talking about a cute trip with the family to Jo-Berg for a quick look at the big five, I’m talking about owning that elephant and Water buffalo and the land on which they roam. Am I the only one who finds the prospect of Haloti vs. Hippo to be both flesh ripping vicious and adorable?

#2: Who doesn’t need a Star Wars looking battle tank?- As if the product landscape on Amazon wasn’t bizarre enough, there is THIS gem. Whether you’re a Tusken Raider (The more George Lucas acceptable term for sand people) or a star defensive lineman this plush carpeted, steel plated machine is great for any Sunday stroll through the salt flats. Unfortunately it is not currently in stock but I’m sure the awkward top heavy small tank factory will pump a new shipment out soon.

#3: Have Haloti Ngata Sponsored youth sports programs. There is nothing more important than building your personal brand and what better place to start than our youth? And while we’re focusing on impressionable markets why not focus on China, where allegedly 1.3 billion people live. I’ve never seen it so I have my reservations, but even Marlbro has stepped up to support these kids across the Pacific pond in what is apparently a school for future Jeff Gordon Pit Crew members, not at all weird.

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